So I was reading a random Buzzfeed article the other day and it turns out I may be an empath!
Not really the most groundbreaking discovery in the big scheme of things, but hey, it got me thinking.
Since I was little, often unwittingly, I’ve known how to take a step back from a situation to put myself in the other person’s shoes, allowing me to understand how things may be playing out from their point of view. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realised that this isn’t something that everyone does! Or perhaps it isn’t something that comes naturally to a lot of people.
I developed the empathy trait, I believe, due to certain experiences I had as a child. And quite honestly it’s a great skill to have! It means that I’m an awesome listener. I have a strong intuition. I’m very nurturing. People find it easy to confide in me. I can form some amazing, deep connections. I can always read the room. I’m very aware of the emotions and vibrations in any given place that I walk into, good or bad. I can look at someone and gage how they’re feeling in that moment. I’ll never be that person twiddling their thumbs, blissfully unaware of the utter awkwardness that’s consuming the room!
But that’s not to say that being an empath doesn’t feel like the biggest weakness at times.
In instances where someone has wronged me, rather than instantly cutting them off I find myself scouring my brain to find reasons as to what it was that could’ve made them hurt me as they did. I automatically try to understand what was going through their head. Because of course no one can be intrinsically ‘bad’. This can often result in me wasting time and energy on people who may not be so deserving of it and that can be pretty frustrating.
Not to mention, whenever one of my nearest and dearest is going through a tough time and they offload their feelings to me, I absorb their emotions. Literally. I’m an emotional sponge!
I could be having the best day in the world, but if my Mum is crying my mood is ruined. Even when she cheers up 10 minutes later, I’m still stuck there, stewing in a pool of misery. You’re probably thinking, that’s ok, you’re allowed to empathise with your Mum. Oh but it gets worse…
I was following a tragedy on the News last week and as it unfolded more and more, day by day, I was plunged into complete and utter sadness whenever it popped up on my phone or on the TV. When I explained why I was feeling down out loud, it sounded so ridiculous! I didn’t even know these people personally yet I was shedding so many tears for them! But all I could think was how such a thing could happen, how the family could possibly be coping and praying that they’d have the strength to get through such tough times.
It’s really not healthy and I’m pretty sure it’s gotten worse during lockdown.
So I’m currently in the process of figuring out how to get to a stage where I’m able to retain my empathetic superpowers, but maybe just not absorb so many emotions in the the process!
Because when someone close to me is going through something, I want to be their rock that helps them get them through it, not the one who makes it 100 times worse by crying more than they are! Plus for my own mental health I need to control this, because trust me when I say that it’s exhausting when you feel so many emotions, so intensely.
Having alone time to clear my head and just focus on my breathing definitely helps me to recharge my batteries. Having kids around, praying, meditating, writing, exercising and listening to music do wonders too.
I guess this will be an ongoing self-improvement project for me, starting…now! Wish me luck. 🙂
Just A Small Town Girl... 
All the best to you. I’m an empath too and most of the times I get into these sullen moods because the people around me feel a little low and they climb out of it so fast and I’m stuck in that lonely pit, feeling bad for something that didn’t even happen to me in the first place!
100% on the same page as you Vrushali! Something I’ve been trying recently is imagining that there’s an invisible bubble shield around me whenever someone close to me is feeling strong emotions and talking to me about them. I imagine that their emotions are coming towards me and bouncing off my shield, rather than infiltrating it. Try it and see if it works for you maybe. 🙂
That’s a great tip! I will surely try it out. Also, how are you? I have been missing your posts since a few weeks now. Your writing is the only reason I have a WordPress app on my phone. 😛
Hopefully, you can work out of the condition. It is exhausting when you carry others problems as if they are your own.
Agreed, it’s a process but I think I’m learning how to control it in different ways. Thanks for stopping by John!
I live with two empaths who would be saying yes to your insights, it is a tough one, distancing while remaining empathic is no simple thing, so yes, best wishes as you go on that journey.
I’m sure you can relate to the post then! Thanks for stopping by, I appreciate it 😀
Very welcome 🙂
I know these feelings well. I’ve struggled with being an empath for decades. More or less come to terms with it now, at long last…
Glad to hear you’ve come to terms with it Ken, I agree that it definitely takes time and a lot of conscious effort.
It’s not the best feeling, being an empath nor is there any better person in this world than one :). Have you seen the movie Guardians of the Galaxy? There is a good personification of an empath character in it – Mantis. Here’s a cool video of that character from the movie – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FERwA7kQg6A.
Ooh thanks for sending that link Vishal, Marvel definitely pinpointed what it is to be an empath. I like the idea of it being a superpower 🙂
Same. So what’s helped me (sometimes) is being aware of when the feeling is coming on and then doing something to control it or to remove the trigger or the energy. For example, I was watching a TV show called, Modern Love and I immediately knew the story was about to make me cry for the rest of the night. I turned it off. I know we can’t do that with our friends, but boundaries are important. You can give your friends/family a time limit to share their emotional experiences and you can give yourself the same time limit to feel it with them. Also, exercise. Exercise helps me immensely because it’s a way to dissipate or disperse energy that I hold in my body. Good Luck! I hope something helps because, as you’ve learned, you cannot continue living a life of your and other people’s emotions ❤
Thanks for the great tips! I agree, knowing your triggers is very important. I like your point about exercise, that definitely helps to get all that bad energy out of the system. ❤