Forgiveness is tough. There’s no quick fix for it. It’s draining and destructive but necessary for one’s well-being. Sometimes it can take years to fully forgive, sometimes just a matter of days/weeks. But the duration until which it is achieved cannot be pre-empted in any way. Forgiveness works in its own time, it cannot be rushed or forced, it’s like a stubborn child bent on having his own way. Some things may aggravate it negatively, others may push the process forwards in the right direction. But what works and what doesn’t work are unpredictable and unbeknownst to the common man.
Essentially forgiveness is an art and it’s much easier said than done. One who is able to forgive truly possesses the biggest of hearts and much strength; he who commits an act which requires forgiveness should learn to be immensely humble and patient if they really wish to be forgiven.
To forgive and to forget are also two very different things and should not be confused with one another. Most of the time it’s more realistic to expect someone to be able to forgive than to forget. But one must first journey through a spectrum of emotions: confusion, disappointment, anger, sadness, hurt, before they can effectively begin the process of healing and forgiving.
And only when one has naturally let go of all of the negativity, finding themselves wondering what could happen, rather than dwelling on what has already happened, have they finally reached the point of forgiveness and can move on with their lives having obtained peace of mind.