Forgiveness is tough. There’s no quick fix for it. It’s draining and destructive but necessary for one’s well-being. Sometimes it can take years to fully forgive, sometimes just a matter of days/weeks. But the duration until which it is achieved cannot be pre-empted in any way. Forgiveness works in its own time, it cannot be rushed or forced, it’s like a stubborn child bent on having his own way. Some things may aggravate it negatively, others may push the process forwards in the right direction. But what works and what doesn’t work are unpredictable and unbeknownst to the common man.
Essentially forgiveness is an art and it’s much easier said than done. One who is able to forgive truly possesses the biggest of hearts and much strength; he who commits an act which requires forgiveness should learn to be immensely humble and patient if they really wish to be forgiven.
To forgive and to forget are also two very different things and should not be confused with one another. Most of the time it’s more realistic to expect someone to be able to forgive than to forget. But one must first journey through a spectrum of emotions: confusion, disappointment, anger, sadness, hurt, before they can effectively begin the process of healing and forgiving.
And only when one has naturally let go of all of the negativity, finding themselves wondering what could happen, rather than dwelling on what has already happened, have they finally reached the point of forgiveness and can move on with their lives having obtained peace of mind.
Just A Small Town Girl... 
Forgiveness is not for the other guy..it is for you. Life ticks along so much happier once the process has been accomplished and you just
Let
It
Go…
Thanks again for another lovely, insightful post.
Absolutely, forgiveness is vital for one’s own peace of mind… I’m glad that you liked the post 🙂
Forgiveness doesn’t mean we have to forget either. 🙂
That’s true Bren, depending on your situation sometimes it’s impossible to even contemplate forgetting, but forgiving should be done for your own sanity and so that you can move forwards. Thanks for stopping by 🙂
Very insightful.! Yes, it works when we want it to. Sometimes though, we gain pleasure holding onto pain or sorrow – we can be silly little humans, at times… 😉
We do tend to sometimes enjoy wallowing in our misery Carolyn, even though it only hurts us to do so! Humans are truly strange creatures I guess… thanks for stopping by 🙂
“The stupid neither forgive nor forget;
the naive forgive and forget;
the wise forgive but do not forget.” – Thomas Szasz
Excellent post! You’ve made some valid points that are not normally stated in posts on forgiveness:
a. Forgiveness is tough.
b. Forgiveness is much easier said than done.
c. (S)he who commits an act which requires forgiveness should learn to be immensely humble and patient, if (s)he really wishes to be forgiven.
That’s a great quote and very relevant! I’ll be sure to keep it in mind, thanks 🙂 And I’m glad that you liked the post, I really appreciate your comment.
Great post. You are so right, foregiveness is not for the ‘faint of heart’.
Absolutely! Thanks for stopping by 🙂