No Scrubs

N.B.: This is a rant-esque post dedicated to all the single ladies out there who are frustrated and fed up with the male species!

In particular, what is wrong with twenty-something year old guys? I mean seriously, this is not a rhetorical question, I need to know.

Like so many young ladies, I feel like I’m forever wondering why I seem to attract the kind of guy who’s an expert in playing hot and cold games that leave me confused and on the brink of a migraine at least once a day!

These guys just don’t know how to court a girl properly. They don’t know how to make her feel special and they definitelyΒ don’t know how to fight for her. They’re more than willing to pack the whole thing in as soon as the waters get a bit rough, because they’ve always got backup options elsewhere that are a bit ‘easier’. Awesome. For years I’ve heard people say that chivalry is dead, maybe it’s time to stop being so naive and hopeful and accept this as an unfortunate fact of life…

Call me old fashioned, or backwards, or old school, call me whatever you like, but when it comes to dating I believe that it’s the guy’s job to ‘woo’ the girl. Girls have a responsibility to impress and keep a guy interested, but at the end of the day he should be the one doing the chasing. It allows him to feel all masculine and macho and it makes us feel special and in turn we start to fall for them: that’s just how it goes. But so many guys are just not willing to put in the groundwork anymore, they want it all and they want it all now, without having to go out of their way.

To begin with they’re so interested and keen, then lo and behold they wake up one day and decide to play the distant and unavailable game, disappearing off the face of the earth, only to suddenly reappear and ask you out again weeks/months later. Huh?! Did I miss something? Oh no wait, YOU did. Your finesse, your swag, your game. Where are they?!

Like most, I’m not the kind of girl who enjoys having to guess whether a guy is actually in to me, or if he’s just lonely/horny with no other girls on the horizon, thereby viewing me as a time-pass/ego boost. Sue me for having some self-respect, but I feel like I’m better than that.

I can’t lower my standards to meet your mediocrity, I just can’t. :/

50 replies

    • Lol you’re right, there’s a fine line between coming across as interested and caring versus seeming thirsty, it’s all about the approach I think. Women know the difference between a gentleman and a slime-ball, even when the guy may not know himself!

      • That’s true. Do they really? Nowadays there are folks putting up acts just to get something in return. In other words, slime-balls acting like gentlemen.

  1. I couldn’t agree with you more. But it seems some of the women nowadays are somehow put off by a guy who isn’t being at least a little sleazy or is genuine..
    Look at it from a fresh perspective, there wouldn’t be so many of knobhead guys out there doing the same kinds of things and being the same kind of arsehole if it wasn’t working at least some of the time… Which aggravates me personally, why should some arse get a nice girl and then bin her off because he got bored? It also degrades the social perception of us males. Given a bad persona buy a few.
    Some guy was a douche to someone, thus making us all a collective bag of douche. It’s a shame they can’t be better and that we all get tarred with then same brush.
    You’re right, there is no courtship anymore, romance isn’t dead, it’s been massacred by modern societies expectations.

    • You’re right, the bad boy behaviour is annoying as hell but for some reason it does draw in a lot of girls because of the thrill element. As a result girls end up tolerating being treated poorly because it’s ‘exciting’ and those types of guys get away with being arseholes and still getting the girl everytime. It does suck for the decent girls and guys out there who aren’t in to playing games, because they end up being perceived as ‘boring’ and ‘safe’ in comparison.

  2. This was a good one on the face of guys πŸ˜› Now I am looking out for the new comments that you get from fellow 20 something guy bloggers πŸ˜‰

  3. Many guys mature later than girls. Some never.
    Looks like you have been meeting these kind of boys.

    Keep looking. ΰ€­ΰ€—ΰ€΅ΰ€Ύΰ€¨ ΰ€•ΰ₯‡ ΰ€˜ΰ€° ΰ€¦ΰ₯‡ΰ€° ΰ€Ήΰ₯ˆ ΰ€…ΰ€‚ΰ€§ΰ₯‡ΰ€° ΰ€¨ΰ€Ήΰ₯€ΰ€‚ !

    • I’m not saying that it’s solely the responsibility of the guy to create a relationship, like I said, girls need to impress and keep them interested. It’s definitely a give and take situation. I just think that in the beginning stages guys are usually more black and white than girls who are often in the grey area to begin with and take a little longer to be sure of things, hence why I believe that a guy should chase a bit to get her up to speed and on the same page as him. Thanks for your comment πŸ™‚

  4. With luck, you’ll find the one you want, and who wants you just as much. My guess is, he’s probably posted a similar post about women on his blog … and like you, is learning first-hand about what he doesn’t want, to better help him recognize you when he finds you, by seeing what he does want for a change.

      • It was a good movie, and you never know … not all men – not even in the age range you mentioned – are complete morons. Keep looking – at least you have a good sense of what you want, and the ones you don’t want should be easy enough to weed out πŸ™‚ Best of luck in your search!

  5. Personally speaking, I would love to woo a girl… if a girl would give me the chance to woo her.

    Maybe the guy you’re looking for, is a guy you’re looking past. Who knows? There are guys who aren’t treated like somebody either.

  6. Glad you posted this because I couldn’t agree more and I wasn’t sure if it was just me or not. Guys don’t have patience for girls that respect themselves and that is just absurd. What is seriously up with the male population these days?

    • No idea, but if you figure it out please let me know lol! It really can be frustrating at times, dating is way too stressful and complicated these days, I for one am more than happy to take a break from it πŸ˜€

  7. I agree. Date older. Much easier! 28-31 is a perfect age if you are around mid 20s. Most guys 26 and under will not be looking to settle down. Especially if they are successful individuals they still have the sense to accomplish more. It takes some more time for them to realize that they want a partner to help them succeed.

  8. God you just wrote my thoughts here. When I see the ‘men’ of today, I cringe at how reckless and pompous they have become. Like they feel no responsibility towards their woman. Most of the attention is on the pleasurable side and if that too is not according to their taste, they prefer ‘not to waste their time’ and move on.

    You see, the effort and willingness is missing. I don’t know what the reason behind this is, maybe it’s the internet or the movies portraying an absolutely wrong perspective about relationships.

    Anyway, we can only hope.

    Great post!

  9. You are not old fashioned. I think its in guys nature to chase the woman and when we let them off the hook and start to do that then they lose interest and that I believe is a fact. Great post and love that song!

  10. You are not alone! This is a serious problem I think nowadays guys or even girls don’t consider the relevance of courtship, dating or even romance as important as they once were. A fast-paced life with digital clicking has turned even this basic survival moment into nothing more than a snapchat moment. There is nothing wrong with being old fashioned. I am the same. It’s like when the guy acts all hot/cold, how are you suppose to act? And then they say that the girl was too iffy. like, no thanks.

    • I agree, the digital/social media era that we live in has definitely had a negative impact on the dating scene. These days nobody can be bothered to invest their time and energy in just one person because they’ve got a queue of guys and girls lined up and waiting for them on Tinder. Thanks for stopping by Kelley!

  11. It seems like two scenarios are playing out there. Maybe, even three the first is the chase which has been going since Romans plundered countrysides and took everything and everyone. I suppose that’s a game in itself. The next is the reciprocal of being “won” and the feeling of machismo. That I’m thinking is a separate game because it can be applied to many things that are “manly.” The third game you mentioned is the “I’ll date someone until someone better comes by.” I know this game is used by both genders but maybe the men you’ve dated choose this more often. The key is recognition, probing questions over just well…probing.

  12. Here is a thought … not bein an ass, but here goes πŸ™‚

    Like most, I’m not the kind of [guy] who enjoys having to guess whether a [woman] is actually in to me, or if [she’s] just lonely/horny with no other [men] on the horizon, thereby viewing me as a time-pass/ego boost. Sue me for having some self-respect, but I feel like I’m better than that.
    Were more alike than different. πŸ™‚

    • Haha no I agree with you. I’m not saying that women are perfect and that men are monsters at all, I just wrote the post after a bad experience when emotions were running high I guess. It’s always funny to read things back once you’ve calmed down and gained some perspective!

  13. I think we must be on the same wavelength! I TOTALLY get where you are coming from and I just complained the other day about the same thing! Loving your blog!

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