Pro-Curvy= Anti-Skinny?

Is it just me or have society and the media become very anti-skinny these days?

Think about it, media icons like: Kim Kardashian, Kelly Brook, Mariah Carey, Beyonce and Kate Upton who we constantly see making headlines and filling the gossip magazines all have one thing in common…they’re voluptuous women. And that’s great because it means that we’re finally over the size-zero craze! Hallelujah! Everyone’s finally accepted and embraced the fact that curvy women can be equally as gorgeous as stick-thin runway models. However, it’s also apparent that this new wave of thinking has somehow resulted in skinnier women being discriminated against and thrown into the shade.

Both of my elder sisters are what society would deem ‘skinny’ and these days they’re constantly on the receiving end of comments like: ‘doesn’t anyone feed you?’, ‘are you on a diet or something?’, ‘you’re just skin and bones!’ And although I’m usually exempt from such remarks because I’m what would be generally termed a ‘pear shape’ it’s still extremely frustrating to hear. The pair of them eat like wildebeest but they just don’t put the weight on, blame it on a fast metabolism or whatever you want but they cannot gain weight, end of story. And yet for some reason they’re taunted for it. I genuinely feel like yelling ‘leave them alone that’s just how they are!’ sometimes.

And the music industry does nothing but encourage this discrimination. There are so many popular mainstream anti-skinny songs out there at the moment like: Booty by Jennifer Lopez and Iggy Azalea (the title is pretty self-explanatory!), Anaconda by Nicki Minaj and All About that Bass by Meghan Trainor in which both artists poke fun at all the ‘skinny b******’ out there while praising their own curvaceous figures. Even male artists are joining in the trend. Look at some of the lyrics to Jason De Rulo’s song Wiggle, ‘you know what to do with that big fat butt…wiggle wiggle wiggle!’. All of these current tracks contain lyrics that slam women who are on the lighter end of the scale and glorify those who were born with a bit more junk in their trunks. And that’s great for all the women out there who were previously being critiqued and labelled ‘fat’, but just because we’re now pro-curvy doesn’t mean that we necessarily have to be anti-skinny. Is it really fair to offload all the curvy women’s prior insecurities onto their slimmer counterparts?

I believe that telling someone that they look skinny is just as offensive as telling another that they look fat, but society doesn’t seem to understand that. We’re lead to believe that ‘real’ women have curves (like a coca cola bottle) and so if a woman doesn’t fit that shape, does that mean that she’s a fake woman…an imposter? No. All women are real women.

What we need to understand is that women come in all different shapes and sizes, we’re not made on a mass production line like Barbie dolls, required to have the exact same measurements, we’re individuals. Just like how some women could never be size zeros, other women could never have bodacious bottoms and that’s ok.

We all need to accept and celebrate our natural shapes and sizes, all women are beautiful, not just the voluptuous ones, not just the slim ones… all of us, capisce?!

27 replies

  1. It’s strange how attached we’re expected to be to our bodies as expressions of our worth. Physical beauty is either inherited or applied, when there’s beauty and wonder in looking into someone’s eyes and seeing the shining soul within.

    • You’re very right, far too much emphasis is put on our outer-beings rather than our inner-beings (our souls). People are quick to get their hair and nails done but few are concerned with maintaining/adopting good morals and values. Thanks for your comment 🙂

  2. This…. there is not enough like buttons to like!!!!!!!!!!!!! Society and media have A LOT to answer for on this topic. Regardless of shape and size or what you look like, EVERYONE is a unique individual and is beautiful! THANK YOU for making my day by writing this piece! ❤

  3. Yes! Completely agree. I’m naturally skinny and people tell me all the time that I need to eat a hamburger. (Which is kindof hard since I’m a vegetarian.) Seriously, I’ve tried to gain weight but can’t. And the real girls have curves, I guess I’m not a “real women” if I can eat whatever I want and not gain any weight.

    Great post!

    • Ah in that case I’m so glad that you stumbled upon this post Rachel-Elaine! My eldest sister gets told to eat meat all the time to cure her ‘skinny disease’ and she’s a vegetarian too! It’s so ridiculous!

  4. I personally have always said if you are healthy and you are happy then ignore the ”haters.”
    But I do agree society is always picking a side instead of accepting itself.. EVERYONE included

  5. I agree with you, the whole attitude towards skinny people has changed. I remember when I lost all my baby fat in my late teens, people were constantly asking me if I was on a diet or if I ever ate anything. My body just became a topic for everyone to give their opinion on. Somehow people are more conscious not to talk to curvier people about their bodies. People need to change their attitude about “real women” and body shaming. Like you said, all women are beautiful.

    • I’m glad that you share my thoughts Mimi and you’ve clearly experienced anti-skinny discrimination first-hand, I’m so sorry for that. For some reason people feel that it’s ok to weigh in and give their two cents when it comes to slim women’s weight, yet when it comes to larger women people tip-toe around them much more and avoid the subject at all costs! It’s so prejudiced!

  6. I am not sure about this but appreciate your point of view on skinny people being given lectures. I had someone who asked if I had cancer, but this was just funny to me. I have a hard job so lose weight easily NOW. Back in my 40’s I had a tough time, wore size 14 pants…
    My girlfriend and I were saying that we felt a lot of the men were getting too thin, ones we liked to see a little bit more husky… Just a different perspective for us, I guess! smiles!

    • Thanks for your comment, I’m not sure if I’d be as forgiving if someone asked me if I had cancer just because of my weight! Hopefully with a bit more time society’s perception of female beauty will evolve again…in a way that’s beneficial for everyone not just certain weight classes!

  7. Great blog. My older sister was concerned she was “too fat” when she was younger (barely 118 pounds at 5’6″) and now I’ve heard some people use taunts about her not eating. Sadly, this is just another extension of people finding some way to bring others down in the hopes it will make them feel better. It’s what we do as a society (and of course there are exceptions). And as for song lyrics, you can go back to Baby Got Back by Sir Mix a Lot for his take on curves, or if you want Freddie Mercury’s advice on “Fat Bottomed Girls”, there’s always that option too.

    • I feel terrible for your sister Geraint, but I can definitely empathise. You’re right, it tends to be the more insecure people who comment on and scoff at other people’s weight. They like to bring others down in order to feel better about themselves, clearly they were unhappy with their own appearances and just jealous of her. Also, thanks for reminding me of those two classics! The selection of songs that I mentioned in the post were more to emphasise that as of right now this whole anti-skinny attitude has gotten out of hand and is at the forefront of the media (what with most of those songs being at the top of the music charts) but I’m aware that the discrimination began years ago… thanks for your comment, I appreciate it 🙂

      • Glad to comment and read. Sadly it is easier to tear down than build up. Just the soceity we’re living in now (and then).

    • Thanks for your comment, I guess I’m just being overly optimistic! I do agree with you that it’s a good thing that we’re being pro-curvy, but in the same token it’s not right to have to pick a side, we can be pro-curvy and pro-skinny…nothing needs to be anti! I’ll be sure to check out that link asap…thanks for stopping by 🙂

  8. I am in the same group as your sisters and it can be really frustrating hearing comments day in and day out about my size. Yea I get it, I am skinny but I have lived in my body for the last 26 years… but it bugs me that people think its okay to put people down for being small. I love this post! One thing I am very adamant about wanting to teach my daughter (she is only one right now) will be that she should love herself no matter what. As long as she is healthy it doesn’t matter what other people think of her. In my opinion true beauty radiates from within. If you are confidant and love yourself that shines through…. whether you are a size 0 or a size 12 etc. Every woman comes in different shapes and sizes. I hate the songs that are promoting woman on woman hate- “f*ck all the skinny b*tches in the club” is just rude. I wouldn’t ever like a song that said the same about heavier girls but that’s just me.

  9. I completely agree with you Amber, I hate discrimination of any kind so I understand where you’re coming from. I think that you’ll be a great role model for your daughter as she grows up, just keep up the positive attitude and self-love because it’s so refreshing! Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  10. Wow! I am what society deems “skinny” which up until a few years ago was just because thats how I was. As a high school student it’s really hard. I have people calling me boney, anorexic, a freak, twiggy from one corner and in another people calling me fat and a whale (which is contradicting in its own way as you can probably tell). Which has sort of left me not only confused but also hating food. Now for me I can’t eat without feeling sick, guilty or fat which is something society put in my head. I think we need more people to realise that categorising groups and changing what’s acceptable non-stop is one of the main reasons my generation is so “messed up” according to our parents. I think you’ve said this in a spot on mannor and I think you have a really good point.

    • Ah I’m so sorry that you’ve had such bad experiences with regards to your weight, that’s really not ok and it’s upsetting that you’ve developed a complex with food because of it :/ Just remember that you are beautiful regardless of what any jealous and insensitive people out there tell you, ignore them! I’m glad that you enjoyed the post and I hope that it allowed you to see that you’re not alone 🙂

  11. Oh, man–we make it so hard on each other, and ourselves, don’t we? It’s tough enough to like ourselves, and to find people we like, let alone love, and yet we go in for all these crazy critiques and limitations. My wife of twenty years is cookie-cutter average, an athletic feminine 5’6/130 who lifts weights and runs marathons–I lift beers and run at the mouth. She’s perfect. So was the 5’8 150lb girl I dated before her, and the 6’0 130lb college volleyball player I dated off and on in school, or the 5’1 97lb distance runner I took to a prom. And that’s just romance, and just a selection. The tall girl took a ton of abuse in HS because she stood out in the crowd, and she was beautiful–gorgeous–if she’d decided to model she could have, and girls would have wanted to be her, but when she was just a kid in school, kids had some stuff to say. I think it’s sometimes because, inside, the slim girls want to be curvier, and the curvy girls want to be skinnier. Imagery–especially all that photo-shopped fashion tripe–must bear a bunch of the blame. Think on whatshername, Keira Knightly, lamenting that she’s not Scarlett Johanson. Keira freaking Knightly, one of the most beautiful women in the planet. I’d be tempted to say this is a feminist issue, but my observations suggest that women are harder on each other, and on themselves, in this regard. I don’t get it. I’m pushing 50 years old, which shocks the shit out of me because I’d swear I was just 25 yesterday, and it’s still not all that hard to remember what if felt like to wish for an interesting girl, to spend time with–tall, short, skinny, curvy, round, square. Solution: ignore the idiots, and they’re ALL idiots–who give you cause to doubt yourself.

    • Women definitely do bring other women down, I have to agree with you there! Rather than subscribing to any type of sisterhood, we’re the first ones to bring another female down if we’re feeling jealous or insecure with ourselves, and it’s not ok. I also agree with you that Keira Knightley is just as gorgeous as Scarlett Johansson, albeit in different ways, they’re still both beautiful. More people need to have well-rounded minds like yours, thanks for your comment I appreciate it 🙂

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