On Saturday night I went out to a club and was hit on by a couple of guys. One watched me for the duration of two whole songs (not even being slightly subtle, literally stood still in the middle of the dance floor) and then crept over when I headed to the bar, grabbed me by the waist and told me that he thought I was beautiful. ‘Thank you’, I said while wriggling out of his embrace. Truth be told I’m not a believer of finding love in a club, I was there to get tipsy, dance without any inhibitions and have a good time with my two best friends who I hadn’t been out with in months. So when he pulled out his card and insisted on paying for my drink, I told him politely that I appreciated him coming over but I just wasn’t interested and needed to get back to my buddies.
And suddenly his big smile disappeared. ‘Well you’re not all that any way, your loss b****!’ and then he stormed off with his posse. Excuse me, what?! While I initially had a small amount of respect for this guy for having the guts to come over and approach me, I now felt embarrassed for him. He clearly had a chip on his shoulder, not to mention a massive ego that bruised a little too easily. And for the remainder of the night he resolved to give me daggers whenever we happened to cross paths: very mature.
But so many guys are like that these days! Maybe it’s just me but I find that a lot of male early-to-mid twenty-somethings are overly self-entitled and arrogant, thinking that they’re God’s gift and that all girls should consider themselves lucky to be granted even a second of their attention. Such guys believe that if they’re interested in a girl, she must like them back, and if she doesn’t they immediately get defensive and attack her for being so ungrateful. One minute they’ll be complimenting her smile and the next they’ll hear the word ‘no’ and instantly declare her to be a ‘frigid slut’ (pretty sure that’s an oxymoron you moron!) It’s ridiculous.
Guys need to understand that girls have freedom of choice too, we’re under no obligation to say ‘yes’ to you and no you’re not doing us any favours by showing an interest in us. Attraction can’t be forced, it’s a natural thing. Be yourself (not a sleaze-ball!) and show some originality, crack a joke or something, just don’t take yourself so seriously because it’s a real turn-off! And if a girl tells you that she’s not interested show some class; don’t be persistent or bitter or aggressive, take a bow, wish her a good night and move on: be a gentleman…jheeez!
22 thoughts on “Be A Gent”
Good on you young lady – you’d have hated to meet my middle son for he is the bloke you described. Such is the curse of the young man back then and even now. Best of luck, The Old Fool!
Haha thanks for stopping by Mike, I hope that your son grows out of that phase!
So please be patient with my story and know I am not defending. Him or attacking you as I was not there to witness this situation. When I was younger my cousin used to drag me to a local club, mostly for protection from the barflies. I myself then had zero self confidence so it took a fair amount of courage to approach a woman to ask her to dance. I was shot down most every time. Many times it was rudely done in a manner that seemed like “are you serious?!”. One time a woman that did dance with me spent most of the time with her back at me looking around the room. That being said I can understand him being frustrated at being shot down. His approach was less than cordial or even tactful, then again I have noticed some women do respond to a fair amount of bravado. One thing I do agree on was his response to your decline was very asinine! Even the numerous times I was turned down I never spoke to the woman in a manner consistent of a verbal backhand. I smiled, said ok and sometimes even bowed slightly. I went back to my table to lick my wounds and move on. So basically my point here is sometimes perception and misperception play key roles in these types of exchanges. I apologize on behalf of my gender to him being a twit and hope your next proposal if you should ever go again is more agreeable. I hope this
Thanks for sharing your story with me! I completely understand the amount of guts that it takes for a guy to approach a girl in any circumstance and for that reason I’m always sure to be as polite as I can possibly be if I’m just not into it. That being said, I am aware that there are many women out there who are less than courteous and even sneer at the thought of certain types of men even daring to approach them…and that’s not fair, I can’t imagine what it’s like to be on the receiving end of such rudeness (well I guess I can after being called a b**** by a complete stranger!) Ultimately I think that both genders need to learn to be gracious and put aside their egos, but your manner of handling such situations in the past was definitely spot on. Thanks for stopping by 🙂
(Continued thanks to my tablet posting without my consent)
Makes sense in the way I tried to explain it to you.
I feel like this all the time! You’re like thanks for having the balls to put yourself out there, but if I’m not interested don’t be a jerk!
Glad to have articulated your thoughts Julia 🙂
He was probably just protecting his feelings, crazy stuff happens inside when you think you definitely got it and then get rejected.
I could tell that his ego was definitely bruised but sometimes you’ve got to just take it on the chin and carry on… at least show some class. The way that people handle rejection says a lot about their characters I think and I definitely don’t feel like I missed out by passing up on that offer…
Very well written! You are a strong individual! Standing up for yourself and what the majority of women (people) go through is a wonderful thing you are doing. Please continue! Never let anyone tell you otherwise.
Thank you so much for your kind comment Sara-Loretta! I really appreciate it and I’m glad that you liked the post 🙂
You should have punched him in the face! How dare a stranger call anyone something so awful!..May be a “shoo ua a** away from here” would have worked…Hell of an attitude guy! You shouldn’t have let him go off like that! O.o
I think I was in too much shock to put together a proper sentence lol. But in all honesty I think that I did well by not lashing out and screaming back at him otherwise I don’t know what dangerous situation I may have found myself in
Well, yeah..unknown people can be unpredictable! can’t take chances either..
The “frigid slut” oxymoron gave me a giggle. It is a sorry state of affairs it seems
Very sorry indeed! Thanks for stopping by, I appreciate it 🙂
Just now came across this, and I totally agree! I feel like a lot of people our age think they deserve to have whatever they look at… even other people, sadly.
You’re right. At least we’re not all bad though, a lot of us still have morals and values, even though it might seem like we’re in the minority sometimes!