Just A Small Town Girl…

In the aftermath of a betrayal
Where do we go?
We’re at a dead-end.

You’ve been hibernating in your comfort zone
Expecting things to blow over
Without any effort on your part
Expecting me to still be around
With my same humour, conversation and energy
But if only it was that easy.

If only you’d come to me and talked things through
Then maybe it would be different now
But you’ve shown me no respect
No loyalty
Running from confrontation
As per usual.

And so I keep my distance
Allowing my silence to speak volumes
That you hear but choose to ignore.

Remember how we used to tell each other everything?
Unable to go even two days without talking
It was always supposed to be that way.

But you cut me deep
And didn’t stick around to patch me up
I guess I overestimated the strength of our bond.

I saw your recklessness but ignored it
Thinking that I would never be on the receiving end
That you’d never even contemplate doing wrong by me
But you did
And now we both have to suffer
So congratulations.

Because in hurting me you’ve hurt yourself
You’ve lost a person
A person who’s been by your side for years
Always looking out for you
Always holding your hand
Always protecting you
No more.

I’m done with it all
You’re on your own
And though that feels wrong to say
I won’t be guilted into condoning your behaviour
It’s not ok
Fool me twice shame on me, right?

And yet in spite of everything I’ll still always care
You’ve been in my life for so long
So I’ll never be able to just switch that off
But I want you to think that I have.

I need you to experience the repercussions of your bad decisions
How else will you learn?
How else can you become a good person again?

When everyone’s around, fear not
I’ll act as though nothing’s changed
With my smile and banter still intact
So that they may all remain blissfully unaware of your capabilities
You’ve fallen in my eyes that’s the main thing
No need to distort any one else’s perception.

You asked me a question
Will we ever be able to get past this?
And I said that I don’t know, I hope so
But I’m no psychic
Although I do know one thing’s for sure
That you’ve made your bed
So lie in it.