This weekend we had a huge family gathering with relatives coming down from all parts of England. It’s safe to say that we were pretty much in each others’ faces and space for 72 hours straight. And now that everyone’s gone back home I’ve realised something.

Over the years, whenever I’ve heard people talking about a need to surround themselves with positive energy, I never used to understand… But I feel like I finally get it now.

There are certain members of my family who it was easy as pie to spend the entire weekend with, our conversation never ran dry and we were 100% comfortable in each other’s company. As always, the laughter, jokes and banter were on a constant loop. And most importantly, I felt happy and as if I’d actually gained something after being around them. I got positive energy vibes from such cousins of mine who never cease to make me smile, because in my eyes they’re genuine: a rare personality trait to come across these days!

A lot of my other cousins, however, gave me less positive vibes. Their conversation consisted of bad mouthing and gossiping about other people, largely those who they barely even knew! And these days I just don’t have the patience for such frivolousness. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that I’m above all that, every so often I have days where I’ll be so irritated by people that I have to vent my anger to others, but I never feel good after doing so and family gatherings are definitely not the place for it. At the end of the day, we don’t all get together very often so I’d rather be able to enjoy the time that I have with my cousins when I do get to see them, not wasting energy talking about some random girl who no one’s ever spoken to but who’s apparently wearing an outfit 2 sizes too small for her and too much makeup, because who actually cares?!

After spending a considerable amount of time with this cheerful bunch, who seemed to forever be scowling underneath their fake plastered smiles, I felt indifferent and slightly down in terms of my mood; they detracted from the joy that I experienced with my other cousins. So I decided to nip the issue in the bud on the second day and made a conscious effort to spend a minimal amount of time with such relatives who made me feel so down. And honestly I felt so much better afterwards!

It’s true what they say, people really do give off different types of energy and it’s just so interesting to think about. I realised that the cousins who I gel with most are those who are generally quite self-confident and comfortable in their own skin with no hidden agendas, feeling no need to throw their weight around or belittle others in order to entertain the crowd. Those who were constantly putting others down radiated negative vibes but I could see that they were just masking their own deep insecurities in doing so. It all seemed to be a ploy to make themselves feel superior, be noticed and thus achieve their ultimate goal of gaining acceptance from those around them.

I guess it’s like my mum says, you never stop learning no matter how old you are and at least I now know what type of people I should be spending my time with and hopefully I’m giving off positive vibes too!

20 thoughts on “Vibes

  1. I’ve noticied this many times and family or not I just simply distance myself from people who are draining. Life is too short to be around people who don’t lift you higher. Sometimes obligations require us to put it an extra effort but if you’re not being met half way – then forget it!

    1. I agree with you completely Amrita, familial obligations force us to have to tolerate certain people who we would not usually surround ourselves with by choice… but sometimes you just have to grin and bear it!

  2. yep…I do the same. I spend a little time with the less than positive ones so not to be rude….then I go have fun with the ones I know have a better personality 🙂

  3. I am in total agreement. It seems to me that nobody can live in harmony with fake people. I wonder whether they have a secret fake gathering somewhere where they discuss real people. There are some people who are universally disliked for being fake. I really wonder what becomes of them, socially. Everyone I’ve surrounded myself with are real, “this is me” kind of people. So where do the fakes go???

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