The Checklist

Over the weekend a couple of my friends dictated to me their unique tailor-made, ironclad checklists which state plainly and simply what they’re looking for in a guy:

1) Must have a professional city job and above average salary

2) Must be of an athletic build and be above 6ft tall

3) Must be into travelling

4) Must NOT live with parents

5) Must have nice eyes and good teeth

6) Must NOT be too hairy

7) Must be able to balance a plate of oranges on his head, hands tied behind his back whilst singing the British national anthem and feeding my friends seedless grapes (ok, maybe that’s a slight exaggeration)

I’m completely in favour of having standards, but seriously? Sometimes it seems like their requirements are endless and even with over 3 billion men in the world, I wonder whether such a Mr Perfect actually exists? When it comes to me, to be completely honest I’ve never sat down and properly compiled such a mental checklist.

Yes, you could say that aesthetically I have a ‘type’, but having met enough guys who I’ve been physically attracted to but not felt much of a connection with/ haven’t trusted as far as I could throw them, I’ve learnt that looks aren’t the be-all and end-all. Now that doesn’t mean that I’ll just blindly settle for any Tom, Dick or Harry: I definitely do think that somewhat of a physical attraction is necessary.

I have a rough idea of what I want and that’s enough for me. Ultimately, it would just be nice to meet someone who’s on the same wave-length as me, who I can talk to about absolutely anything and who can make me laugh. CRINGE, I know! But a good heart is more of a deal-breaker for me these days, rather than a chiselled jawline. They don’t have to look like Brad Pitt, as long as they take care of themselves and make the most of what they’ve got I’ll be happy. Plus I’m a believer that when you meet someone special you just know, without having to consult/ refer to any checklist.

And whilst I’ll freely hold my hands up and admit to having become pretty cynical when it comes to love and that the idea of meeting someone who I can feel comfortable and safe with sounds beyond  preposterous as of right now (have you met the guys of my generation?!) deep down in my bones I know that such a person does exist. Where they are? I have no clue. Will that person find me or vice versa; or will we be pushed together by some unprecedented act of fate? I guess we’ll just have to wait and see…

32 replies

  1. I knew many people who would say things like “I can’t date him, he has green eyes” and “I wont get married unless the engagement ring is from Tiffany’s”. People can make you cry sometimes!!

    When you meet the right person, you just know. Check-lists don’t matter, because it all goes out the window! (:

    • Lol I’ve heard similar things before about eye colour (shaking head) it’s ridiculous. You’re so right, with the right person it all goes out the window but they have to be given the chance before that can happen.

  2. I wonder, those with these lists… what to they have to offer? What makes them so sure that they’re up to standard! My experience has been that those with such such specific lists are constantly being disappointed…

  3. I used to have a list…then I realized nobody’s gonna meet every single one of those items and I tossed it. I take my mom’s advice now, “I want you to be with a nice guy.” Personality trumps looks (and salary) in the long run.

  4. Back in college and just after I found that my friends who had all of those lists were really looking to ways to avoid commitment, or excuses for when things got serious to back out – yeah, she was really sweet and pretty but she was a liberal arts major, jeesh, no future there.

    haha … and of course all of those guys who have ended up married in the ensuing years have done so with people who are nothing like ‘the type’ they talked so much about. Well, not completely true, some DID find their type … and every single one of THOSE marriages are now divorces.

  5. while all the other girls around me are just looking for mr. perfect, I’m wondering if there’s a single guy I will be able to stand without wanting to punch him in the face. I just want to go on a date with a guy who doesn’t make me cringe.

  6. Well, I’m not going to make myself into a human dart board by putting up a checklist of a few, little requirements men might expect of females, but I did once write a short story on what some men might consider vital assets before entering into a more permanent relationship. If small town girl allows links you will be able to read it here: http://olafmosely.wordpress.com/2014/05/03/the-ideal-woman/

    Hang on, I just need to get my helmet and body armour.

  7. You’ll know when you find the right fit. Some one to trust. Someone who will stand by you. Some one with whom you will build a future. Yet 20 years later, nothing can guarantee that you won’t find yourself wondering just what it is you gave up in exchange. A nice guy is a good place to start but it’s not the antidote. Don’t sell yourself short.

  8. Once upon a time, my best friend had told me of his list and after listening patiently, I told him he was probably never gong to find such a person, since it was basically a female me. Long story short, he now lives (I assume more or less) happily with his girl in England (I assume since I do not hear from him very often) and let me tell you she MAY fit one or two of his once-criteria.

    • I do think that it’s good to know roughly what you want in a partner, so having a couple of requirements like a good sense of humour or being family-orientated is fine to want and also achievable… just so long as the list doesn’t start getting too long and ridiculous! Thanks for your comment 🙂

  9. I completely agree, it would be nice just to meet someone who is on the same wavelength and who makes you smile. It seems we are all caught up in criteria for our relationships (both the ones we’re in and the ones we are seeking) that we lose sight of what’s truly important in a relationship.

    I often find myself wondering how on earth I am ever going to run into that right person. I have a hunch I need to get back on fate’s good side.. 😉

  10. I think it is common for girls to make a “checklist” of qualities that we want in a spouse, however, I think that we have to remember we are all human and there is no one perfect on this earth who can meet all our expectations consistently.

  11. I totally agree. Ofcourse there must be a physical attraction but there is more to it. What good is a physical attraction if the same love given is not received. Ultimately you will still be alone.

  12. Take it from someone who made a list and found my 1 in a billion… 10 years later you both aren’t who you once were. So my advice is find someone who you can grow old with because a list won’t cover things like. … will hold my hand while I throw up and will be my rock when I grieve the loss of a loved one.

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