The Paradox Of App Dating

If you’re well versed in the game of app dating, it’s highly likely that every so often you’ve reached a point where you’ve thrown your hands in the air, deleted the app/apps from your phone and vowed that you are through with the whole charade once and for all. No more endless swiping, no more small talk, no more awkward first dates, and no more being ghosted for no apparent reason!

The problem however is that, for most of us, the chances of meeting anyone seemingly half-decent in our day to day lives is unlikely. In addition to this, we’re all acquainted with those perfect unicorn-like couples who met via an app and lead us to believe that in the end it’ll all be worthwhile for us too. And so after a brief detox, we reluctantly drag our virtual feet back to the App Store and hit Reinstall (for the millionth time).

Dating apps have the ability to make us believe that amid the thousands of matches that we spend our evenings swiping left and right through, eventually we’ll find ‘the one’. But in reality, the chances of that happening are slim to none.

Because before we get to ‘the one’ we have to weed our way though a mixed bag of oddballs first, some of whom are still firmly holding on to ex-related baggage; others who have a plethora of issues that are way beyond repair; some who are not even single; others who just want a quick hookup; some who are merely bored and don’t actually want anything except meaningless small talk all day everyday. And then, perhaps after all that we may be fortunate enough to stumble upon a normal one…but then he/she thinks it’s ok to respond to your witty comment with “hehe” or they claim to hate GoT…and we’re back to square one!

Apps bombard us with options, which makes the process of actually choosing just one person much less satisfying than it would be if there was only one to begin with #FOMO. Plus, before you actually venture to go out on a date, it’s difficult to think of said person as an actual human being as opposed to some virtual entity that you exchange messages with from time to time, hence why the phenomenon of ‘ghosting’ is so popular I guess, we forget that the other person is actually a living, breathing person with feelings, just like us.

All in all it’s a vicious cycle of infuriation and it’s nothing short of a full time job (and so when you already have one of those on the go, it’s doubly exhausting!) but we keep at it because we crave that connection.

I know I’m not really selling this whole app dating experience, but truth be told this is the reality of it. Can I get an AMEN?!

8 replies

  1. If it’s another avenue to meet and fall head over heels (Bollywood style) then why not!! Our parents didn’t have the opportunity to rummage through the weeds. They got the first one and learned collectively how to nurture the garden of marriage – must we have to go through the weeds to get to the end, what is it we are looking for, who knows.
    D.

    • Good point lol, but while it’s good to have choice one could also argue that too much choice is just as bad as none at all. I guess you realise what you’re looking for when you find it, or at least that’s what I’m counting on!

  2. I’ve never really gone in for it but then I’m heavily active on social media and meet friends in real life too so I get to see a lot of people. But I’m intrigued and possibly WELL behind the times…didn’t you start dating someone you met from a blog years ago when we were all blogging like crazy? I remember you posting about it all. Did that not work out? Or have I got myself confused…lol

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