Do you believe that there’s one person on this planet who was made for you and vice versa? That we all have one special person who we’re destined to be with forever and ever?
I’m not so sure if I do.
Don’t get me wrong, I do believe that soul-mates exist (growing up watching Bollywood movies has made it impossible to believe otherwise), but please note my use of the plural form as opposed to the singular…I’ll explain in a minute!
The way I see it, we exist within a population of over seven billion people, so where is the rationale and probability behind this Disney-esque theory that we were all created in pairs like the animals on Noah’s ark? If it were actually true, the human race as we know it would cease to exist. And why’s that you ask? Well because unless we made the decision to ‘settle’, we’d all be so busy frantically crossing oceans and seas trying to find ‘the one’ in order to avoid a life of miserable solitude, that we’d have no time to stop, smell the roses and procreate! Life would just be a never-ending, stress-filled, man-hunt which you may or may not be lucky enough to complete and take away the prize for! Ok maybe I’m taking things a bit too literally but I’m just not convinced.
Of course there have been times when I’ve met a couple and thought wow, you two mesh together so well, I can’t imagine you being with anyone else, you’re just so easy and natural together, you get each other’s quirks like no one else could. But does that mean that there’s absolutely NO way that they could find the same or perhaps an even better bond with someone else if their situation changed for whatever reason? Does it mean that we all have a special someone out there who’s tailor-made to fit ONLY with us? That we’re all owed that right by society? By the world? I think that for some people it’s comforting to believe in such an ideology, it’s a romanticized way of viewing life that can instill hope in us. But on the flipside, it’s also quite dangerous to subscribe to such a way of thinking and it can lead to some seriously depressing thoughts…
Because what if you’ve already met your soul-mate but life happened and you were forced to go your separate ways? Or what if they settled for someone else before they even had the chance to meet you? And then there’s the whole messy scenario of meeting after you’ve both settled down and started families with people you initially thought were your soul-mates … what then? Game over? It’s sad to think that you’ve lost your one and only shot at true happiness and love, because as the rules go you’re only entitled to one person. So basically you’re screwed and set to live a life of lonely nothingness!
I mean by this wave of thinking, hypothetically speaking, if my one true soul-mate got hit by two buses last week in Tokyo, plunging him six feet under (before I’d even had the chance to meet him) does that automatically mean that it’s the end of the road for me too? Unbeknownst to little old me, sitting in my small town twiddling my thumbs, did my one shot expire already? No, it shouldn’t because that’s not fair, I demand alternative options dammit! He’s the one who didn’t bother to look both ways before crossing the road, why should I be punished?! I think that’s why I can’t fully buy into the concept of each of us having just one soul-mate out there, the notion is far too condemning for me to accept.
I personally believe in the idea of multiple soul-mates (maybe a handful or so for each of us) and that if you’re fortunate enough to meet even just one of those special people in your lifetime you’re extremely lucky, because of course they’re very rare finds.
I also believe that different types of soul-mates exist, not just romantic ones but platonic ones too, who can come into our lives in a variety of forms, as friends, brothers, sisters, cousins, parents…anyone!
Anyone who you share an effortless yet undeniably strong connection with that you feel in your gut, anyone whose presence makes you feel safe and at ease wherever you are, anyone who you feel an inexplicable, magnetic pull towards, anyone who fits that criteria is a soul-mate in my eyes. Such bonds are rare to come across as we all know, so when they do come along I think it’s safe to say that you’ve stumbled upon a soul-mate… well by my way of thinking any way. 😀