The Cavemen

What is it with guys and fighting?

Dancing the night away in a club it’s not unusual to peep a pair of guys over by the bar regressing into primates before your very eyes, pushing and shoving one another over the most trivial and insignificant things. Accidentally spilling a drink, holding somebody’s gaze for longer than a second, stepping on the back of their shoe, or my personal favourite, inhaling a patch of oxygen that blatantly had someone else’s name written on it. These days all of these types of laughable occurrences will typically result in big dramatic Wild West-esque showdowns!

I blame it on a dangerous concoction of testosterone, ego, immaturity, insecurity and of course, alcohol. Maybe it’s just the company that I keep, but almost every guy that I know wants to be perceived as being a stereotypical macho, INVINCIBLE male. They revel in the glory that comes along with it.

And so in order to prove their manhood and earn respect from their fellow primates a lot of them will initiate pointless scraps just to build up that reputation, brandishing their cuts and bruises like shiny gold medals afterwards because they make them look like ‘winners’; barbaric, brutish, uncivilised winners, but winners nonetheless. They get caught up in the moment, get pumped up by their peers, become blinded and consumed by the adrenaline rush and then can’t help but to unleash their inner cavemen. GRRRRRRRR!

I get it, guys like to channel their inner warriors from time to time. But needlessly beating someone up or getting beaten up yourself for no good reason does not make you a man. And I’m sorry to say that it does not impress girls either (well not any girls who have their heads screwed on any way). If you feel like you’re going to explode because you’ve got an insane amount of much pent-up aggression, go enrol in a boxing class/wrestling school for Pete’s sake!

I’m all for defending yourself/others when you absolutely have to, but going out looking for trouble just to prove your manhood is ridiculous. Grow up. You think that you’re tough but what if that other guy is tough but also slightly crazy…you don’t know how far he’ll go or what he’s capable of. You never know what kind of sticky situation you could be getting yourself and those around you into. You only know your own limits.

I know that it’s hard to think rationally when you’re caught up in the moment, but try to consider the repercussions of your actions before you switch up into Ultimate Hulk-mode. Do yourself a favour and just walk away, it’s never worth it my friend.

You’re no longer a caveman, you have evolved…act like it!

21 thoughts on “The Cavemen

  1. I like this post and still know men that are no longer young bucks that act like this. 100% immaturity. This is not a trait of a real man, but of children trying to appear to be men. Thanks for posting!

  2. It’s funny and concerning as well. When I’m drunk I become more friendly. Sometimes the “who cares” factor is there, but it just helps in approaching a stranger who seems to be a good human being.

    Sometimes I get other emotions as well, but I have a weird controlling nature, where I virtually tell my emotion, “get up as much as you like, I’m the one in control here.” It fells good when I consciously put my “other” emotions to an inferior place.

    “Let’s have a good time.” 🙂

  3. It is a little more complicated than that. Teeneagers and young adults have no way to “prove their manhood” as it were. It’s the old tribal mentality where boys had certain rites to pass through to reach the stage of being called a man. I’m not defending violence, but I can see where the misplaced aggression comes from. It’s a confusing stage of life for boys too, and they commonly do stupid things. Sadly, it sometimes leads to unfortunate and tragic consequences.

    1. I understand that a lot of boys have misplaced aggression that they struggle with, but finding productive outlets is much better than beating up strangers. Aggression can be controlled, some just choose not to I guess…hence the frequent cavemen sightings!

  4. ok…it is good to be normal than to be unruly. Anyway, I don’t know much about these cavemen because I don’t drink.

  5. In fairness, I don’t think the buck just stops with guys….I have seen our ladies at it like cage fighters, obviously not where I live thankfully. But male/female it’s human nature as people feel they need to protect “their patch” or another patch several hundred miles away in another town while on a “booze” session. I am not religious in any way but frankly it’s the drink that spurs it on, only a small number of people actually get jovial following a few drinks. It’s also the “Punjabi” culture influenced by some pretty poor directed cheap videos on music channels and some uncle ji with 16 super cars parked up behind him giving it the “large”….

    We do it to ourselves…either guys are under a false impression that girls like that macho ruff n ready kick the shit out of my fellow person guy, or there are actually some girls out there who really like a knuckle head type of chap!

    Who knows but it seems since my UNI days (back in the 90s), we haven’t progressed much.

    1. I get what you mean, there are a lot of violent undertones in Punjabi culture but I was talking more generally. A lot of guys in their twenties struggle to deal with their aggression and inferiority complexes so they turn to violence, regardless of their race. It’s an immaturity thing I think.

  6. Love this! Can totally relate. When I was studying in the UK for a year I saw club-fights break out for no rhyme or reason! I would put all the blame on alcohol.

  7. My sentiments exactly!
    Just ten times more funny. And actually well written.
    It was funny and engaging and the sort of thing that I want my writing to sound like one day.
    Thanks for putting it up here.

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